“Mr. Baird! Mr. Baird! Come quick! A WILDFIRE has broke out in the hills! What are we gonna do?”

“No worries, Citizen! Round up the Greenshirts and pass out the shovels and before you can say 'We don't need you, Sacramento' we'll have that bad boy put out!”

“Oh, thank you, Mr. Baird. Bless you!”

NEXT WEEK: Higher Education comes to Jefferson

Tom Koski lives in Upper Lake, Calif.